One week. I can't believe only one itsy-bitsy, seven day week has passed since I arrived here. A million little moments, thousands of bated breaths, and a significant drop in tears shed on my part (pardon the pun).
In the weeks preceding my last minute flight to BC, I felt completely out of control emotionally. Hyperventilating between tear-filled gasps was a daily occurence. I think since I arrived to be at my dad's bedside, I've only teared up one and half times. It's not at all that I'm bottling my feelings, letting them age and ferment in the back of some metaphorical cellar deep in my heart. The reason that I'm not crying is because (wait for it)
I am exactly where I need to be for my family, for my heart and for my head. I am a 15 minute bike ride to my dad's room in the PCU where I can come and go as I please. I get to hug my mom as many times as I want and can. I can finally lend a hand back at my parents house to diminish the lengthy 'To Do' list that has been growing exponentially since dad's hospitilization. It feels like my hands are no longer tied behind my back, and an ample weight has been lifted.
Dad's been Mr.Popularity ever since he first moved into the Palliative Care Unit, with a constant flow of well-wishers, friends old and new, family, and hospital staff.
Today was my first visit with dad where it was just the two of us. I got him out of bed and sitting in a comfy chair so that we could hang out like a couple of old pals. We had a wonderful chat over tea and biscuits about his day, and he asked about, as he put it, "life on the outside". He's still as smart as a whip, with a wicked sense of humour.
I can't get over how amazing the Palliative Care staff have been. They are patient, supportive, caring and extremely attentive. Although I don't think I could do their job, and not get attached to every ol' feller and dame that arrived at their door, I do appreciate the role they play in what is a very difficult time for the patients and their loved ones.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but bridging the gap is what mended this broken girl.